Roadkill

John Chard

Sinbad and the Eye of The Roc. Roadkill is a telefilm directed by Johannes Roberts and written by Rick Suvalle. It stars Oliver James, Eliza Bennett, Kacey Barnfield, Ned Dennehy, Diarmuid Noyes, Roisin Murphy and Eve Macklin. Music is by Ray Harman and cinematography by Peter Robertson. A bunch of young friends are travelling around Ireland in an RV when they stop off at a bric-a-brac store. Getting into a dispute with one of the crotchety shop inhabitants, the youths are forced to flee and knock down an old Romany lady with their RV. Whilst trying to aid the old woman, she gasps her last breaths whilst issuing a curse on all involved in her killing… Once in a while you stumble upon a telefilm that really entertains and holds you for its duration, sadly Roadkill is not one of them. Low expectations always help with these sort of productions, they are after all knocked up by aspiring directors who are just happy to have a film shown on the SyFy channel, but thee’s not a lot to write home about here. In its favour is the appearance of Ned Dennehy, who is always good value for a bit of scuzzy characterisation, and Stephen Rea even pops in for a cameo, but both actors are clearly slumming it and working for food. The group of handsome youngsters are the usual roll call of nice legs, nice cleavage, nice pecs, supplemented by the dim one, the annoying one who says dude a lot and etc, each to be picked off by a rather crummy CGI mythical beast from Sinbad lore. Will any of them survive? Just what is the secret of the medallion that Dennehy’s dirty army are so keen to get back? The answers to these questions will of course provide the backbone of the story, leading to an unintentionally funny moment when “lead girl” turns into Chuck Norris. The acting isn’t awful and it’s nice to have some genuine Irish countryside as the backdrop to a story set in Ireland, but it all comes off as pointless TV schedule filler. And unadventurous filler at that. 3/10